That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
