I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Still dying that you shit outside
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
