I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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