I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
