Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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