If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm both gender and math confused
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
