Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My life is pants optional.
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