He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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