i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Too much gin, very little bucket
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
