So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
