if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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