This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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