She went from zero to smokin in five shots
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Randomize
