Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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