i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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