i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
