I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think your dad took our porno
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
