I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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