the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
