YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
