Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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