Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
