Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
