North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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