Sry I called you an 8
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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