Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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