I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it's great music for shaving your balls
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
