Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
