Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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