why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
They took my balls.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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