try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
