You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
