we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
