I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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