my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
