We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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