a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
