If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
