I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
