I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
