But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize