he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
