just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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