I'm eating all of the evidence.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
