Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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