Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Someone shit on the floor
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
