Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
