I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
