I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
