Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
