He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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